I Hate Carpet!

We have a guy coming over to clean our carpets tomorrow. They are long overdue for a good, professional, steam-cleaning, let me tell you. Yuck. He can't get here quickly enough.

You know, I grew up in a house with carpet in almost all of the rooms. The only ones that didn't have carpet were the bathrooms, the kitchen, and my mom's hair salon. Oh, and the storage room and utility closets, if you want to get really specific. But, you know, all the rooms that shouldn't have carpet, didn't. And I loved having carpet throughout most of the house. It's so warm and cozy on your feet (and I'm almost always barefoot while at home) and soft to play or take a nap on. When hardwood floor began to become popular again or even tile (bleh!), I thought people were crazy! Why would you want something so hard and cold underfoot all day long? It sounded dreadful to me.

But now--now that I have small children of my own--I so totally understand!

I hate carpet! I absolutely, positively hate it with every fiber of my being! It is so gross and nearly impossible to keep clean with a nasty dog and young, potty-training children running about. I don't even want to think about what has landed on this carpet in the last year-and-a-half since we last had it cleaned, so I won't, but I'm sure many of you can relate and imagine for yourselves.

And if it wasn't bad enough having carpet in our living room where our children spend 95% of their time, but someone had the bright idea to put indoor/outdoor carpet in our.......wait for it........yes, I'm totally thinking what you're thinking.........all you mothers out there are cringing in your seats!.......okay, I'm going to say it!........(gulp) kitchen!!! (Shudder!)

Why?? Who in their right mind would do such a thing? Why does the universe hate me so? Don't people understand how much stuff gets spilled daily on a kitchen floor especially when toddlers and preschoolers are involved? Bleh! It's so nasty, I just wanna cry thinking about it.

So I'm pretty dang excited for the carpet cleaners to come tomorrow. Not that it'll last long (who wants to bet that my kids will break raw eggs on it before the week is out?), but at least it'll be better than it is.

The moral of this story is, if you're planning to buy and/or renovate a house and you have an indoor dog or children under the age of, say, 20, put in laminate flooring. Sure it's not warm and cozy like carpet and it's not as nice as hardwood, but it's strong and durable and will wipe up oh-so-nicely. After your kids have grown and moved out and there's little-to-no chance of them moving back in with you with your grandchildren in tow (so, you know, when they're in their 40s or 50s), then you can finally enjoy the warm comforts of carpet or the luxury of hardwood floors. Until then, just go with laminate and save yourself the stress and heartache of dealing with carpet, give your nostrils a break, spare your feet from being constantly sticky, and treat yourself to a trip to Hawaii for your 20th anniversary with all the money you'll save on carpet cleaning products and services. And send me a postcard while you're there because at this rate, that's the closest I'll ever get.

Is the carpet cleaner here yet?

Side note: Seriously, don't even bother investing any amount of money into anything nice while you are raising your children. Because if it's nice and expensive and it brings you happiness and joy, your children will destroy it. (There's a little bonus lesson for you today. You're welcome.)